Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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