She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize