No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
