Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
