Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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