Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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