i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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