tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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