i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
