I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
