At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
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