Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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