Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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