Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
