I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
