i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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