Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
