Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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