Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
