she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
