chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
