but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
