I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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