lets start a swedish sibling band together
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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