finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
