What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
