I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
