I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
