you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
