My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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