He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
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