You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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