They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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