Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize