remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Randomize
