i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You need a sexual gate keeper
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
