I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
