Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
