idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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