Non-Jews are for practice
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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