I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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