So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
