Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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