ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Still dying that you shit outside
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
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