She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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