that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
