i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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