Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize