I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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