would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
