Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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