He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
