My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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