No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
