I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
We are two peas in an std pod
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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