I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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