THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
