Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
This is classic penis vs brain.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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