I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
