She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
i've created a new STD.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
