I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
