Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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