Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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