I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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