Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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