had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
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